As many of you know, I offer free legal representation to Toronto Real Men members who are accused of crimes related to the use or possession of a penis. I refer to this member benefit as “COCK INSURANCE”. I am very proud of the fact that I defend men’s right to KEEP AND BEAR COCK! For obvious reasons, the men that I represent on these matters usually want to keep a very low profile. Therefore, I had NEVER publicized my involvement in these types of cases.
On June 15, 2012, I represented my seduction student Pavel Shkolnik in Centre Avenue Court, after a FemiNazi CUNT reported him for “harassing” her on the subway. But unlike all my other clients, Pavel DEMANDED publicity, in order to make heterosexual men aware that they need not submit to the FemiNazis’ agenda of psychological castration. Proud of his dedication to the cause and humbled by his total lack of shame, I announced the event here http://www.blogto.com/events/48604
We arrived at the courthouse early. The Toronto Transit Commission (TTC) prosecutor had known me for several years, so we had a good rapport. I demanded an adjournment on two grounds. Firstly, I had requested “full disclosure” from the TTC. That way my client and I would know what the TTC’s case was, thereby allowing us to properly prepare. The cop’s notes I received were totally illegible, so I argued that the TTC had failed to provide me with adequate disclosure. I demanded that they supply me with transcribed notes. Secondly, I had no statement from the alleged “victim”, and even if I did, I had the right to interrogate her one-on-one in a pre-trial. All that Pavel remembered of the alleged incident was that he “hit on some badly underfucked slut” and shortly thereafter was handed a citation.
I used my legal acumen and charm to sway the TTC prosecutor to adjourn the matter to a date in August, at which time they would present the “victim” to me for interrogation. The prosecutor also agreed to have the cop provide me with typed notes. However, since neither the “victim” nor the TTC cop were present in the court when the case was finally called by the court clerk, the matter was dismissed, and my client walked, as described in this grossly biased article http://www.thegridto.com/city/local-news/lovers-defence/
As an aside, I found two facts surrounding this case very amusing. Firstly, since the TTC is for all intents and purposes a “Crown Corporation”, it is owned by a CUNT by the name of Queen Elizabeth (member of a family who abducts Aboriginal children for rape and blood sacrifice). So the papers served to Pavel read “Regina vs Pavel Shkolnik”. I crossed out “Regina” and changed it to “Vagina”, which I felt was more appropriate. I was rather disappointed that I did not have the opportunity to hand the altered documents to the judge. Secondly, I am a pork-loving anti-Zionist Greek pagan, and my client Pavel is a strictly kosher pro-Zionist Russian Jew. A Greek representing a Jew … talk about a role reversal! Pretty cool, huh?
Anyway, a few weeks after the gridto article was published, a reporter named Saira Peesker, who identified herself as being from the online Marxist news collective Open File, contacted my manager to ask permission to interview me regarding the legal services I provide to men. I generally do not grant interviews, but if I am generous enough to make myself available for one, I take my role in it VERY SERIOUSLY and I put my whole heart into it. My security department conducted extremely thorough background research on Miss Peesker. They found little evidence in the way of her being a FemiNazi, other than her participation in man-hating dyke-dominated Roller Derby.
In future I will post in-depth on the psychology of sluts who participate in Roller Derby. Briefly, most players of the sport have repressed “daddy issues”, often times related to keeping their daddy out of their vagina. The game involves players who each represent a vulture-like sperm, encircling a large track representing a femme lesbian’s vulva. All of the sperm on each team, with the exception of one, were produced by a meddling faggot looking to knock up the femme with a turkey baster. His motive is to garner attention by way of bragging rights and being the guest of honour at a FABULOUS baby shower. However, one player on each team represents a heterosexual sperm that landed “without consent” on the femme’s vulva, after a heterosexual rapist tried to forcibly JAM it into her vagina (this player is called the “JAMMER”). The other players, who are often diesel dykes with attitude, must BLOCK the JAMMED sperm with their bodies (these players are called “BLOCKERS”).
Nonetheless, my manager and I agreed to Miss Peesker’s interview. I granted her two emails … a first one where she would present me with initial questions, and a second one for follow-up questions based on my answers to her initial questions. For your information, here is Miss Peesker’s web site http://sairapeesker.com/
Unfortunately, to date no article has been published … and I doubt one ever will. You know why? As you will see from my answers to her questions (contained in two separate emails I have cut and paste further down) I made it clear that if Open File did not post MY FULL UNEDITED RESPONSES TO MISS PEESKER’S QUESTIONS, and subsequently anything they published was purposely taken out of context in order to misrepresent me, I would hold them LEGALLY LIABLE. In response, Miss Peesker argued that Open File needed to “edit” my responses because they had “space constraints”; but I knew that there was no way an ONLINE publication could have “space constraints”.
Nonetheless, I stand by my security department’s vetting of Miss Peesker. I still believe that she is NOT a FemiNazi … but it appears that HER EDITOR IS! You see, we never vetted Chantal Braganza, the Toronto Editor for Open File. It turns out that on further research we find that Mrs. Braganza has a web site in which she states “I like pickling vegetables, feminist history and movies about the end of the world. I live in Toronto with my husband and cat …” Googling her name reveals all sorts of juicy tidbits related to FemiNazi events like “SlutWalk”. Your honour, I REST MY CASE!
The FemiNazi editor most likely wanted to pull the old Marxist-FemiNazi switcheroo by juxtaposing excerpts of my answers in such a way that I would look like a total idiot. In addition, she likely wanted to find evidence that I was doing something “illegal” so that the Marxist news collective could “expose” me to the authorities, then send me up the river, FemiNazi style! Mrs. Braganza obviously asked Miss Peesker to use her “womanly charms” to coax me into dropping my guard. But unfortunately for them, I did not fall for it.
Anyway, this whole fiasco has been an exercise in futility. Miss Peesker spent a lot of time formulating questions for me, and I invested even more time in writing concise, detailed, thoughtful answers to her questions. I know that my readers would agree that there is no point in Miss Peesker and I wasting our combined efforts. Therefore, without further adieu, please enjoy my answers to Saira Peesker’s questions, split over two emails.
DIMITRI THE LOVER EMAIL RESPONSE #1, AUGUST 4, 2012:
Please find my answers to your questions below. You have my permission to publish my answers only if they are reprinted in full, without omission or insertion. Otherwise sentences could be taken out of context, and as such may change the meaning of my answers to the point where I would be mis-represented. If that happens it would make publishing the edited comments libelous and therefore open you to a law suit. In other words, cut and paste each of my answers WORD FOR WORD and you are fine.
As for openfile.ca, I am a big supporter of fifth estate journalism. However, I have noticed that your viewer stats have gradually eroded over the last few weeks … http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/openfile.ca# … let us see if we can reverse the trend with an interesting article on me. FYI, I was forwarded a copy of a dossier on you from our security department. What is with the “Roller Derby”? You definitely have some unresolved daddy issues! I can help you overcome them, but that is a project for a later date. Anyway, here are my answers to your questions …
1. To date how many people have you represented in court?
The acquittal of Mr. Pavel Shkolnik, a proud member of Toronto Real Men, represents my 26th court case. A few of the men I have represented were repeat customers, so I estimate I have had approximately 20 clients. Of course, I have excluded any times I represented myself or appeared in court to assist friends charged with minor offences such as nuisance bylaws arising out of Marxist social engineering, speeding or parking tickets, etc.
2. What sort of legal matters have you represented people on?
Anything from sexual assault to criminal harassment. For example, in Mr. Shkolnik’s case an uptight FemiNazi cunt accused him of harassing her on the Toronto subway after he politely accosted her. Since Mr. Shkolnik’s taxes help to subsidize the subway system, he has the right to make it his sexual playground, provided he does not contravene any criminal laws. The charges against him were dropped because neither the subway cop nor the “victim” showed up. I’ve done medical-legal work for the Toronto Transit Commission in the past, assisting them in catching fraud artists who fake “slip and falls” on their property. They are well-aware of my legal acumen. Also, I scheduled a pretrial to give me an opportunity to interrogate the “victim”, demanded to know her name and contact information, and requested transcribed copies of the officer’s illegible notes. No one in the history of the TTC had ever demanded a pretrial on this type of offence. My suspicion is that the TTC feared if I won in court, it would set a legal precedent and open the floodgates for men to aggressively approach sluts on the subway. It was safer for them to just drop the matter. It is kind of like baseball. Similar to how a strong batter is walked to prevent a home run, I suspect that the TTC in essence “walked” me and Mr. Shkolnik by telling both the cop and the “victim” to stay home.
3. What sort of clients do you represent and how do they find you?
I only represent personal friends and members of Toronto Real Men, the world’s only anti-metrosexual organization. In the case of Toronto Real Men, we provide every member with what we refer to as “cock insurance”. Basically, if the man is ever charged with a crime related to the use or possession of a cock, then he is entitled to free legal representation by me. My motto is that I defend a man’s right to KEEP AND BEAR COCK!
4. What have the outcomes been?
In 100% of cases I have garnered either an acquittal or the withdrawal of all charges, such as in the case of Mr. Shkolnik.
5. Is it legal to represent someone else in court while not being a lawyer or licensed paralegal, and if so, how?
If you peruse the ZioFascist-inspired provincial statute governing lawyers and paralegals you will see that it is PERFECTLY LEGAL to represent anyone you want, provided you are doing so as an unpaid friend OR on behalf of a member of a group such as a trade union (in my case the “union” is “The Brotherhood of Vaginal Miners”). Since my services are covered under the men’s “cock insurance”, they never pay me directly. However, there are perfectly legal ways in which I could be financially compensated for court appearances on behalf of the general public without contravening the statute, but I am not at liberty to disclose them here.
6. How did you first get into offering legal services?
Over the years I learned that most lawyers and paralegals are incompetent … REALLY FUCKING INCOMPETENT! They are high-priced paper pushers, with the laziest of the bunch hiring a team of legal assistants to do their paperwork while they sit back in their chair, download porn, and wait to be presented with papers to blindly sign. Put 99% of these borderline IQ shysters in court and they fold up faster than a metrosexual on a date with a cock-hungry coke whore. And do not get me started on the paralegals. Some of the dirtiest Eastern European skanks I have ever met called themselves “paralegals”. They knew how to fill in the blanks on a client’s immigration form or incorporation papers, or sucked a couple of lawyers’ cocks, and voila, they were granted status in the legal system. What a fucking joke! When I founded Toronto Real Men in 1995 I met several men who were victims of this type of incompetent legal representation, so I decided to include “cock insurance” in our benefits.
7. Do you have any formal legal training? If not, how did you develop the expertise to successfully represent clients in court?
Over the years I have represented myself in court on dozens of matters. For example, many years ago a lying cunt accused me of “sexually assaulting” her. She concocted a fantastic story about me aggressively groping her during a late night workplace visit while I was making the rounds as a housecall doctor. I hired a criminal lawyer, Louie Genova, who was quite good but very expensive. So I only retained him to run the preliminary hearing during which I carefully observed him and took notes. He subsequently gave me some pointers on court etiquette & procedural rules. Then I was on my own. I ran the entire jury trial myself. It was almost as exciting as my first fuck … but the trial lasted way longer! They lined up the prospective jurors for me like they were being marched in front of a firing squad. I chose …
- old people & immigrants that I knew would trust a doctor over some administrative slut
- jocks that looked like they had date raped within the last 12 months
- any slut that stared at my crotch while I was checking her out (I wore extra-tight pants that day).
Neither the crown prosecutor, arresting officer, nor judge could figure out the method to my madness. I destroyed every prosecution witness and their case began to unravel. I CREAMED that FemiNazi crown prosecutor in court so badly that most of the time she was beside herself, madly fumbling through notes as she kept trying to regain her composure and catch up to my massive male intellect. I was so fucking well-organized that I was able to cite dozens of inconsistencies in the “victim’s” testimony between the preliminary hearing and the jury trial. I easily proved beyond a reasonable doubt that the “victim’s” story was concocted. The jury was out only 40 minutes then came back with a resounding acquittal. I still remember the jury foreman screaming out in a loud Chinese accent “NOT GUILTY!” I fucking loved that Chinaman! I later heard from a criminal lawyer who was a client of mine that the crown prosecutor became the laughing stock of the department.
Subsequent to that case I was taught how to launch civil lawsuits against people by none other than the illustrious Harry Kopyto, who is a misguided Trotskyist with a good heart. And I picked up a lot of pointers from YouTube videos of one of my biggest heroes, Eustace Mullins, on how to behave in court, including how to pass yourself off as a Mason by flashing Masonic hand gestures at the judge!
8. Do you charge for your legal services? If so, how much?
I charge $300 per hour for my medical-legal services, such as forensic analysis of medical fraud files, but I have never charged a dime for appearing in court to defend men on sex-related charges. I do it both for the sport of it and because I feel it is my civic duty to protect men from gender injustice (I learned that terminology from the Marxists … so how does it feel when someone throws it back at you, pinkos?). We need to face the fact that “date rape” is NEVER a man’s fault. If a manipulative cocktease purposely triggers a testosterone rush and the man’s impulse control is weakened by a hormonal disequilibrium, then he is innocent of any crime. That is why the Muslims put their sluts in burkas. Even my fiancee Colette says that “date rape” or a slut being jumped whilst wearing a skanky outfit is “provoked rape”. Also, she feels that any time a slut agrees to go to a man’s place, or invite him to her place, she has consented to sex and this consent cannot be rescinded on a whim–she MUST follow through or face STIFF consequences (get it?).
Dimitri DIMITRI THE LOVER EMAIL RESPONSE #2, AUGUST 10, 2012:
(Miss Peesker’s second email was sent almost a week later, so she was obviously doing a lot of research)
I have placed my answers below each of your follow up answers, and once again, provide them under the condition they are printed WORD FOR WORD. Also, I will not respond to any more emails (two is the limit). Good luck on your article!
-When you say you can represent friends for free and union members, are you referring to the Ontario paralegal regulations? http://rc.lsuc.on.ca/jsp/paralegal/regulation.jsp
You are missing the point. You are thinking like an automaton under Marxist mind control. THERE IS NO LAW IN THE PROVINCE WHICH PREVENTS ME FROM DOING WHAT I DO. Period. Yes, every law that governs a “regulated” profession like the one you mentioned above contains exemption clauses for people who are not practicing that particular profession as a business. You have provided me just one example of a law from which I am exempt. But instead of searching for laws from which I am exempt, find me any law which says that persons who do what I do under the circumstances in which I do them MUST BE LICENSED. No such law exists. For example, when your boyfriend gives you a bear hug to crack your sore back, is he practicing chiropractic without a license? When you administer medication to your spouse, are you practicing medicine or nursing without a license? Use some common sense instead of listening to what the media tells you.
-I contacted the Labour Board and was told no union of Vaginal Miners has ever been approved. Is your union officially certified?
Firstly, it is the “Brotherhood of Vaginal Miners”. Secondly, when the “Fudge Packers Local 69” down on Church Street gets “officially certified”, we will too!
-The Criminal Code says indictable offenses require a lawyer, while summary offenses can be handled by an “agent.” Have you ever represented someone for an indictable offence?
Good question. It is a common misconception spread by lawyers that sexual assault is a purely “indictable offence”. IT IS NOT! It is what is called a “hybrid offence”. The crown prosecutor has the onus of going either summarily or by indictment. I have a MindRape technique I use which sways the prosecutor in the direction I need them to go (Indictment when I need extra time and/or contradictory testimony to build a case; summarily when it is a slam dunk and I need to get it over and done with quickly). Most of the sexual assaults my TRM members have been accused of have gone summarily.
-There is no mention of your name as an agent in any cases filed in the Quick Law case database. Does that surprise you?
You can easily figure that one out … I will not give you any hints! FYI, the Quick Law case database it is to court cases what IMDB is to movies. Basically, they list each of the actors in a courtroom drama. You have proof I do what I do, and the only reason you even heard about Pavel’s case is because he WANTED me to publicize it. Otherwise, I would still be operating under the radar. Most men do not want publicity when they stand accused of sex crimes. REAL MEN WELCOME IT!
-Can you give more specifics about your work with the TTC?
I could, but I will not.
-Can I get a copy of your Toronto Slut Alert newsletter?
I could, but I will not give you one. That newsletter is for Toronto Real Men members ONLY! However, I will make sure that my next newsletter includes Roller Derby venues and times, along with tips on how to seduce annoying reporters on skates.