Dear Dimitri The Lover: 

I gotta say that I don’t agree with everything you write, but I agree with your main points on masculinity and the general shittiness of feminism. And I fuckin love Ron Paul as well. You have said in the past that you believe that abortion is murder. I do as well. You also say that you don’t like to use condoms. And it appears that you use the pull out method to prevent pregnancy. Assuming the articles I have read are correct, the pull out method reduces the potential risk of pregnancy but not by nearly as much as a properly used condom would. My question is this: How do you make sure the numerous sluts you bang don’t get pregnant? And what would you do if they did?

Thanks, Dan

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Dear Dan:

Firstly, LONG LIVE RON PAUL!
 
Secondly, thank you very much for your question.  Unfortunately for you, my answer is over 6,000 words in length.  I know you young guys all have ADD, so please try to bear with me.  I have spent several hours to formulate a response to your question in order to ensure that you are a better man after reading it. 

Withdrawal is a 100% effective form of birth control IF USED PROPERLY.  The small failure rate reported with this technique is due to men first waiting until their cocks start pulsating, THEN pulling out.  You have to pull out BEFORE that happens, which obviously makes the experience less pleasurable for you.  If you trust the slut, you can use the rhythm method, which is also extremely effective.  If you really want to cum inside her but you do not trust her, just fuck her cunt for a while, then when you are a few minutes away from blasting your load, ASSFUCK her.  ASSFUCKING is appropriate in this case for two reasons.  Firstly, you cannot get her pregnant unless cum leaks out of her asshole and down to her cunt, so watch for that.  Secondly, if you do not trust her, then there is obviously a valid reason for how you feel … most likely she is a MANIPULATIVE CUNT … in which case she DESERVES A VICIOUS ASSFUCK.  It becomes karmic at that point.  You must deliver the retribution of the Gods.
 
As for the second part of your question, I have never accidently gotten a slut pregnant that I know of.  I have come close to being trapped several times, but my psychiatric training allowed me to identify manipulative CUNTS before I fell victim to their plots.  I remember one smoking hot registered nurse who worked at Baycrest Hospital and kept nagging me to cum inside her.  I could tell from her body language and facial expressions that she was merely looking to get knocked up.  Anyway, I refused to do so unless she convinced her sister to 3way, which I knew she would say “NO” to (I said it just to make her feel dirty).  Anyway, I bumped into her 2 years later as she stood on Danforth Avenue with a kid in a stroller.  She had trapped some Jewish shmuck who subsequently demanded that she get an abortion.  She refused.  They actually got MARRIED.  Poor bastard.  Another Jew who fell victim to the SS (Sperm-Stealing Shiksas).

For your information, the abortion industry is part of the Gyne-Industrial complex.  I delivered a record 95 babies as a Medical Intern at Doctors Hospital in Toronto.  Since the patients at this hospital were primarily immigrants, the staff men knew that the chance of lawsuits was rather slim, so they let us do most of their work UNSUPERVISED.  I did not know what I was doing, but I delivered about half those babies by myself with no staff man present.  I learned as I earned.  Catching every one of those olive-skinned little bastards as they slid out of those hairy cunts was a joy.  I recall one night when I was on call.  I delivered baby after baby … it was like Lucille Ball in the chocolate factory.  It was rather overwhelming!

Every single delivery went without a hitch.  I was very proud to bring life into the world.  The only negative experience I had was the time an East Indian father asked me in front of his exhausted, frightened wife, if I could euthanize his healthy baby girl because he wanted his first born to be a boy (I freaked out on that ignorant brown bastard so badly that he ran out of the room).  Anyway, I have witnessed first hand how obstetricians abuse their patients with unnecessary procedures, such as episiotomies, and unnecessary drugs, such as oxytocin drips, in order to make extra profit.  Abortion is also highly profitable.  It is a SILENT HOLOCAUST taking place right under our noses, that is organized by a bloodthirsty GyneNazi Cabal with a lust for the SACRIFICIAL MURDER of Unborn Christians.  I was the only intern that refused to participate in abortions on moral grounds, and was ostracized for my position. 

Anyway, if I DID wind up inadvertently impregnating some slut, I would obviously financially support my spawn.  If a slut I impregnated wanted to murder the child by way of an abortion, I would do EVERYTHING in my power to stop it.  If necessary, to prevent the murder of my child, I would LIE to her.  You are allowed to say “I love you!  Let’s get married!” but keep postponing the date until she delivers (you obviously do not want to marry a MANIPULATIVE CUNT for real).  If you consider yourself a REAL MAN then you MUST do what it takes to keep her from murdering that poor child out of spite.  Also, once she delivers and realizes that you are NOT marrying her, you must do everything in your power to seize that child so as to prevent her from murdering or abusing him.  Trust me, she will consider doing it out of spite.  Also, because that child has half your DNA, she will view him a miniature you … in essence a voodoo doll representing you that she can abuse or murder.

It is sad that we live in a society where females are permitted to murder defenseless children.  And even more sad is the fact that if a female murdered an infant or young child, she would be acquitted under the “post-partum depression” defense, or some other concocted psychiatric condition.  It is fucking disgusting.  Over the last 50 years, due to Marxist social engineering, permitted female violence has skyrocketed while permitted male violence outside of the theatre of war (which is immoral, but has become a regulated, gladiator-style sport), has plummeted.  Think about it … a boy can no longer even “verbally bully” another person, yet a girl is taught from a very young age that she has the right to murder her children, or even her husband, if he becomes “abusive” (whatever the hell that means).

Now let us delve into your question more deeply and philosophically.  I NEVER use condoms when I pleasure sluts.  I refuse to.  I WILL JERK OFF BEFORE I EVER WEAR A RUBBER.  If a slut demands it, Colette and I show her the door.  Many a time we have dragged half-dressed skanks down the stairs leading out of our flat, thrown them on the porch, and tossed them a transit token.  That is what they get for wasting our time.  Colette gets particularly annoyed at these latex freaks, often bitch-slapping them for even suggesting that a condom be employed in our lovemaking.

No male or female wants a condom to stand in the way of their full sexual potential.  Furthermore, I am of the opinion that if you have penetrated an orifice whilst wearing a condom, actual intercourse never took place.  Instead, the two of you mutually masturbated against either side of a sheet of latex.  Therefore, you cannot count the sexual encounter as a REAL conquest.  For your information, I stopped counting conquests many years ago after I reached my 500th UBE (Unique Bareback Encounter).  Once you multiple my encounters by an average of 2.8 orifices per encounter (all sluts also gave oral, but only 80% were assraped), then we are talking about 1,400 orifices penetrated at that point in my life, and probably double that by now.

Based on the above information, there are two questions men often ask me:  Firstly, how do I convince over 95% of new conquests to forgo condom use, even if they are die-hard condom fanatics? (as you know, Colette and I kick the remaining 5% out of bed)  And secondly, how can I bang hundreds of sluts without using a condom, yet still be healthy and disease-free?  To answer those questions we need to discuss some medical history sans the Marxist Mainstream Media’s homocentric spin.

During the 1980’s, in order to obtain research funding from straight men holding the purse strings, homosexual male lobby groups propagated the MYTH that HIV was also a heterosexual male disease.  It has NEVER been a disease of straight men.  There is not a single reliably documented case of a heterosexual man getting HIV from a heterosexual encounter.  NOT ONE!  Do not fall for the propaganda.  Do you PERSONALLY know any heterosexual male with HIV that you are 100% certain was caught heterosexually?  For example, a few years ago a study of men in Africa who had unprotected sex with HIV positive prostitutes revealed that ZERO PERCENT of men with normal penises caught HIV.  Interestingly, a handful of men with OPEN SYPHILLUS SORES on their penises caught HIV because the virus had direct bloodstream access (we will discuss this fact further down).

Why is it that heterosexual men cannot catch HIV?  Because HIV is not a very hearty or virulent virus, so you need a high “viral load” to catch it.  In other words, for a person to catch HIV they need to be OVERWHELMED with large numbers of viruses so that the viruses can form a beachhead in the body.  The only way for that to happen is for the semen or blood borne virus to be injected directly into the bloodstream.  That is why people who have had blood transfusions can catch it.  So why can fags, and in rare cases, heterosexual females who have had sex with HIV positive men, catch the virus?  Because when the virus is injected into an ass during vicious assraping, which is what fags love, it gets into the bloodstream through the rips in the rectal mucosa.  And when HIV-laden semen is injected into a vagina by a bisexual man who himself caught HIV years earlier when he received an assfucking, the virus enters the female’s bloodstream through the very vascular cervical mucosa (but even then, this mode of transmission is VERY RARE … she more likely needs a good ass-pounding to catch it).

As a heterosexual man, as long as you are NOT taking a cock up the ass, you have ZERO chance of getting HIV.  You can even dine on the occasional cock and still be disease-free.  Also, homosexual men who are tops and never bottoms, have virtually no chance of catching HIV.  Furthermore, the “viral load” in vaginal or oral secretions is so low that you cannot catch it that way.  Also, for anyone to catch it, the person transmitting it must be at the stage in his HIV infection when he is shedding a lot of virus, and therefore has a high viral load in his semen.  If his semen does not have a sufficient concentration of HIV virus, even a bareback assraping will not pass it into the recipient. 

Please note that even within homosexual couples who are in open relationships, it is always the anal receiver, and not the giver, who is at risk.  I have known fag couples where the “bottom” catches HIV outside the relationship, yet he never transmitted it to the “top”, even though they had fucked bareback for years.  Furthermore, back around 1990 when I was working as a Medical Officer in the Canadian Armed Forces (I was honourably discharged as a Captain, and still hold my commission), there were about a dozen cases of AIDS in the Armed Forces.  

Most of these men CLAIMED to have gotten it from a “prostitute”.  I had the sad fortune of treating one of those men.  He was a decent guy but a TOTAL FAG.  You could tell.  Since it was ILLEGAL to be a homosexual in the Canadian military back then, he could not come right out and say it.  I remember another guy I treated for anal warts (which is primarily a male homosexual disease).  He claimed he was “gang raped by a group of drunk guys” while he was on leave in Vancouver.  He was also a TOTAL FAG.  Anyway, we had a saying in the military:  Only two types of soldiers are able to catch VD from a toilet seat:  GENERALS AND PADRES.

Personally, I feel sad for those of us who are born with the abnormal brain chemistry of a homosexual.  It is NOT their fault and they should be treated like every other disabled person.  Discriminating against them for being sexually disabled is no different than doing so against a guy in a wheelchair.  Having said that, you cannot join the military if you are in a wheelchair because you cannot fulfill the physical duties of a soldier.   Similarly, a homosexual man is unfit for military service because his job is to COVER his buddy’s behind … NOT COVET IT!

Before we move on, I want to discuss the poster child for crypto-homo HIV … Magic Johnson.  The man swears up and down that he fucked thousands of sluts and caught it from one of them.  But just like the military, the black community shuns homosexual behaviour, so black men have to be on the “down low” when they are participating in such rectal Tomfoolery (I have always wanted to use that word).  Another possibility is that he was sharing steroid needles with other players, and caught the virus from a juiced up closet faggot on his team. 

If you explain what I have written in the last few paragraphs to any intelligent slut, she will agree that the risks for disease transmission are zero, and go bareback with you.  Sluts hate condoms as much as we do in that the latex irritates the vaginal wall, so they are desperately looking for an excuse to avoid them.  As long as your argument sounds at least plausible, she will go bareback.  Just make sure you sound very authoritarian and talk in a slow, deep voice.  Also, explain to her that females are often irrational and think with their hearts instead of their heads.  Tell her that a female will often start to bareback her man after the man says “I love you” (i.e. the relationship has become permanent) even if no blood testing had ever been done.  That argument will MindFuck her into submission because she most likely had done it herself with past lovers.

Make sure to stress that you have NEVER taken it up the ass!  Also, you can offer to not cum inside her, which drastically reduces the chance of disease transmission.  I find that dumber sluts are more reactionary, using Marxist conditioned phrases like “No glove no love” to reject bareback encounters outright, rather than making an effort to understand the dynamics of venereal disease transmission.  Nonetheless, you can convince the vast majority of sluts to forgo condom use by giving them a paternalistic, condescending educational lecture about how they cannot catch anything serious from a man who has never taken it up the ass, and how condoms provide a false sense of security because the transmission of many STD’s, such as herpes, cannot be completely prevented EVEN WITH CONDOM USE! 

It is a documented scientific fact that if they take certain precautions, heterosexual males NOT USING A CONDOM have a ZERO PERCENT chance of catching anything other than HPV (which almost 100% of successful man whores are carriers of anyway).  I have never caught any sexually transmitted diseases or made any sluts pregnant (that I know of).  Now let me briefly provide you with a “Safe Barebacking” guide so that you too can enjoy REAL sex, risk-free.

Firstly, make sure you are WELL HYDRATED before you commence lovemaking (further down you will learn why).  Before you penetrate any orifice, INSPECT THE SLUT.  Would you bite into an apple without checking it for bruising?  Would you buy a used car without having a mechanic do a once over?  Of course not!  So, INSPECT THE SLUT!  Just before you go down on her, spread open her cunt lips (or asshole) and do the following 4 things …

• OLFACTORY INSPECTION: Any fishy/vile scents emanating from the orifice?
• EXTERNAL VISUAL INSPECTION: Any scabs, blisters, redness, rips or non-clear (especially yellow or green) discharge?
• INTERNAL VISUAL INSPECTION: Same signs as external visual inspection
• INTERNAL FINGER INSPECTION: Any bumps on the vaginal/rectal wall or discharge on your fingers when you pull them out?

If everything smells, looks, and feels OK, destroy her orifice with your cock.  After you withdraw from her cunt or ass, go straight to the washroom and TAKE A LONG PISS IN THE SHOWER to drive the bacteria and viruses out of your urethra, and wash any microcritters off your cock shaft.  If you really want to make it fun, drag her into the shower with you, make her kneel, and piss on her!  If you do not feel like pissing, immediately start drinking glass after glass of water until you do.  Do not believe the pharmaceutical industry’s propaganda … taking a long piss right after fucking DRASTICALLY DECREASES your chances of getting a disease (you faggots should do it too).   The worst thing you can do is fall asleep after fucking, giving chlamydia or some other bacterium a chance to swim up your urethra.  Finally, if your cockshaft is covered in menstrual flow or blood from a freshly-torn orifice (good work!), do an extra thorough job of scrubbing your penile weapon clean.

Furthermore, there are several healthy lifestyle habits that will boost your immune system into overdrive and help you destroy any pathogens that dare to come in contact with your sacred man meat.  To know how to keep yourself disease-free you must first learn why homosexual men have so many STD’s (yes, Paris Hilton is correct).  For that, we need to discuss some more history.  For your information, HIV first entered the human population after scientists developed an experimental hepatitis B vaccine using monkey serum.  Unlike HIV, hepatitis B is HIGHLY VIRULENT and requires only a small viral load to overwhelm a recipient.  Since hepatitis B is dangerous and is sexually transmitted, in the 1970’s researchers picked promiscuous homosexual men in New York to test the vaccine (BIG FUCKING MISTAKE). 

The monkey virus spread through the fag population like wildfire for two reasons.  Firstly, they were having copious amounts of promiscuous sex with lots of partners; and since aggressive “power tops” were ripping open twinks’ rectums, the virus was being injected directly into the bottoms’ bloodstreams.  Secondly, the homosexual lifestyle involves lots of late night “partying” with alcohol and hard drugs.  Toxic chemicals combined with sleep deprivation and poor nutrition, eroded the homosexual men’s immune response, turning these faggots into walking petri dishes for HIV. 

Besides avoiding chemical toxins such as illicit drugs, getting a good night’s sleep, and eating healthy, nutritious food, here are some tips on how to keep yourself healthy, strong and free of diseases …

• Condom Toxicity:  If you care about your health and the health of the sluts you are fucking, you will NOT USE CONDOMS !!!  The chemicals in latex are absorbed into the bloodstream in HIGH DOSES during penile stroking action, due to both friction and heat build up.  They are not only absorbed through your urethra, but also in exceptionally large doses through the slut’s highly vascular cervix and vaginal mucosa.
• Baking Soda:  Toothpaste and deodorant are FEMINIZING men.  Instead, I use baking soda to brush my teeth and sprinkle on my armpits.  It is much more effective, way cheaper, and far safer than chemical-laden products.  It also allows your unmasked natural phermones to come through, making you irresistible to your prey when you accost her.
• Alcohol:  All men’s bodies produce ESTROGEN in the adipose tissue.  Luckily, a healthy, chemical-free male’s liver rapidly clears the ESTROGEN out of his body.  With exposure to toxic chemicals in plastic, ESTROGEN levels in modern men are through the roof.  ETHANOL from alcoholic drinks competes with ESTROGEN for clearance from the body through the liver’s Cytochrome P450 enzymatic chain.  Therefore, if you drink alcohol, ESTROGEN stays in your system longer than it normally should and FEMINIZES you, explaining why alcoholics have gynecomastia (breast formation), low sex drive, and hair loss from their shins.  I NEVER drink alcohol!
• Plastic Containers/Canned Food:  You should NEVER consume anything out of plastic containers or metal cans (which are ALL lined with FEMINIZING plastic).  Specifically, bottled water WILL CHEMICALLY CASTRATE YOU!
• Fluoride:  Even though plain tap water (excreted prescription drugs and all) is far less dangerous than water bottled in plastic (no matter how “pure” the bottled stuff claims to be), fluoride is dangerous for a myriad of reasons (Google “Fluoride toxicity”).  PLEASE NOTE:  Brita and other carbon-based water filtration systems DO NOT remove toxic fluoride.  I have two massive back-to-back alumina filters housed in stainless steel (not plastic) casings, removing the fluoride from my tap water before it hits the carbon filter.  Also, “Mineral Water” is just plain tap water with added minerals, which means it usually contains high levels of fluoride.  “Spring Water” should be natural and should contain almost no fluoride.  Your best bet is SPRING WATER IN A GLASS BOTTLE, i.e. “Perrier”
• Teflon:  Non-stick coatings are highly toxic and cooking with CAST IRON is by far healthier.  Also, the iron in CAST IRON will prevent iron deficiency anemia, which has skyrocketed over the last few decades due to the advent of non-stick cookware.
• Microwave Ovens:  In the past I ALWAYS left the room right after I turned on the nuker in order to avoid the radiation.  However, recent studies show that food which has been nuked has lower nutritional value, so I ditched the nuker.  Also, NEVER microwave anything in plastic or covered in plastic wrap.  Unless you want to grow tits, nuke stuff in an inert glass or ceramic bowl, and cover it with an inert plate!  And make sure the ceramics are NOT made in China or some other country with poor regulations, in that it could contain LEAD.
• Face Creams/Soaps/Shampoos/Hair products:  I NEVER apply any creams or soaps to my handsome face and sexy body.  Colette makes all of our shampoos and detergents from scratch.  She also makes my Dimitri-strength hair gel by mixing rose water with xanthan gum (makes me smell romantic).   If you are not so fortunate, please thoroughly wash off shampoo and NEVER use conditioner.  Avoid any products with parabens or sodium laurel sulphate in them.  Also thoroughly rinse all dishes to rid them of as much dish soap as possible. 
• Makeup/Cosmetics/Perfumes:  You may not think the chemicals in these products can harm you as a man, but just the act of French kissing a slut with lips smeared in chemical-laden lipstick can lower your serum testosterone levels to that of a SHE-MALE!  Furthermore, over 60% of lipsticks contain dangerous levels of lead, which may explain the lower IQ’s of females who wear a lot of makeup.  Thoroughly scrub all perfume and makeup off a slut before devouring her.  Lucky for me, Colette makes her own 100% natural perfume by distilling herbs, vanilla, cinnamon, anise, lavender, etc.  She also makes her own 100% natural makeup and is in her workshop as we speak mixing activated charcoal with glycerin and some other compounds to make eye liner!
• Artificial Sweeteners:  There are too many toxic effects to list.  For example, Aspartame causes a multiple sclerosis-like syndrome.
• Food Additives:  I NEVER consume MSG, which has been unequivocally linked to obesity and neurological disorders.  Furthermore, there are dangerous additives in items that you never even though of, such as “table salt”.  If you are not sure, avoid any artificial flavours, colours, and anything with the word “modified” in it.
• Medications:  I NEVER consume any drugs.  Being a “Fine-Tuned Lovemaking Machine”, I go to an Internal Medicine Specialist every couple years ONLY for the purpose of running mass blood work.  I will do a future article on what blood tests men should undergo to ensure a long, healthy, and horny life.  Also, an abdominal ultrasound every couple of years is a safe method for screening many potentially dangerous medical conditions.
• Chiropractic:  I attend a chiropractor on a weekly basis to optimize innervation to the areas of my body that are necessary to maintain a manly erection, create gag-sized ejaculations, and maximize pelvic thrust velocity and magnitude.
• High Fructose:  Recent studies have linked high fructose corn syrup (labelled as “glucose-fructose” in Canada) to diabetes and obesity.  It is in practically everything sweet, so you have to be very careful by reading labels thoroughly.  Specifically, AVOID SODA POP!
• Aluminum:  Avoid it in cookware, foil, deodorant, etc.  It may be linked to Alzheimer’s Disease.
• Thermal Paper:  Nowadays cash register, credit card, and ATM receipts are printed on thermal paper.  The chemicals in it are powerful hormone disruptors that will feminize you.  Therefore, wash your hands THOROUGHLY after handling such items.
• Other Environmental Chemicals:  From Febreze to fabric softener to cleaning solvents to dry cleaning products, you must avoid exposure to FEMINIZING agents.
• Obesity-Related Feminization:  As mentioned earlier, ADIPOSE TISSUE (fat) produces ESTROGEN and FEMINIZES men.  The fatter you are, the more ESTROGEN is produced, and the more FEMININE you become. Your sex drive will drop, your cock and balls will shrivel up, and so much fat will build up around the base of your cock that it will appear shorter.  If you are obese then go on a low carbohydrate diet to rapidly lose weight, prevent diabetes, increase energy levels, and send your sex drive through the roof!  PLEASE NOTE: “low fat diets” and “veganism” are scam fads originally concocted by the New World Order back in the late 60’s to help cheaply feed an exploding world population and prevent food riots.  The result?  A massive surge in obesity, diabetes, and heart disease!  If low fat, high carb diets are so good for you, then why are all the rich 1% of people woofing down as much fatty foie gras and filet mignon as they can stuff into their smug faces?
• Soy/Flax-Based Feminization:  Veganism and orientalization of the western diet has led to a massive increase in the consumption of soy-based products, such as those containing soy sauce or tofu.  Soy has been solidly linked to an increase in ESTROGEN levels in men and may explain the low sex drives and stunted penile growth of men living in oriental countries.  It also contributes to the poor sexual performance and energy levels of vegan men.  Cholesterol in eggs is one of the building blocks of testosterone.  Vegans do not eat eggs!  A cholesterol deficiency will feminize men.  I consume 5-6 eggs per day and Colette consumes 2-3 eggs per day, 7 days a week.  It is a MEDICAL SCAM that cholesterol is bad for you.
• Hormones and Antibiotics in Meat:   Only consume naturally raised meat and eggs, especially if you live in the United States.
• Pesticides on Vegetables:  Only consume organic vegetables.
• GMO Food:  Monsanto is EVIL!  GMO food kills people.  A recent French study showed that rats fed a GMO diet developed massive tumours.  The study was so compelling that a group of Russian scientists are producing a reality TV show where they feed one set of rats regular, and another set of rates GMO food.  Also, Russia and several other countries have banned the import of GMO products because of the French study.

IMPORTANT NOTE:  It always makes me laugh to see environmentalists, vegans, hippies, and health nuts consuming “ORGANIC” products that are sold in PLASTIC CONTAINERS!  What the fuck is the point?  You are just trading off pesticides for ESTROGENS.

Anyway, I have been very strict about my chemical exposure for decades.  I am 49 years old, look years younger, have no health problems, flaunt my long brown hair (teen girls love running their hands through it), can fuck 4-5x a day, 7 days a week, can out-fuck men half my age, and can wear out even the most insatiable of 30-something cougars.  Furthermore, recent studies have shown that men over 40 who were highly sexually active throughout their lives have a far lower incidence of “erectile dysfunction”.  I believe that this fact can be attributed to the corpus cavernosum (spongy tissue) of the penis being less likely to develop adhesions and shrinkage because it is constantly inflated and deflated (so the expression “use it or lose it” really does hold true).

Furthermore, the false notion that if you have a “date” scheduled you should not jerk off beforehand so that you can maintain an erection later that night is TOTAL BULLSHIT.  A man who is NOT FEMINIZED can get hard again and again, cumming several times in one day.  How do you think rich old men maintained huge harems during ancient, chemical-free, happy times? 

REMARKABLE FACTS: Did you know that the Roman Catholic priesthood is the profession with the highest incidence of prostate cancer?  Therefore, one can safely conclude that if you do not evacuate the fluid produced by your prostate either through sex or jerking off, it will build up and damage its cells!  And did you know that when autopsies are performed on men that have had vasectomies, microscopically their testicles display burst cells due to backed up sperm that could not escape normally?  Also, swelling of the scrotum after the surgery can cause serious damage to your testicles.  Both of these effects will lead to FEMINIZATION.  If you are going to have a vasectomy, you might as well get implants, go on hormones, and become a SHE-MALE!  It is far safer for your wife to get a tubal ligation through a laparoscopy.  Don’t let your wife pussy whip you into submission!

If you are not getting laid regularly, then for the sake of your health, you should be jerking off several times a day.  Also, you should aggressively pull on and stretch your penis as an exercise to maintain healthy blood flow, thereby preventing shrinkage and promoting raging hard-ons.  Furthermore, according to the religious protocols of The Church of Dimitri of Latter Day Sluts, a man must find a quiet place, whip out his cock, point it toward the CN Tower (as the largest free-standing phallic symbol in the world, it is considered the holiest of sites), then stroke it 69 times, doing so several times a day (in the same way Muslims pray toward Mecca).  If your employer protests your request for quiet jerk off breaks, threaten to sue for discrimination on the basis of religion (it IS Canada you know).

As discussed at the beginning of this article, withdrawal and rhythm methods of birth control can be used on a fertile slut with 100% EFFECTIVENESS.  Birth control pills are dangerous.  No female should ever put harmful chemicals into her body, so you should take charge as the intellectually superior member of the species and lecture every slut you fuck on this fact.

Since I personally believe ABORTION IS MURDER, I do not want to impregnate the wrong slut.  However, as discussed earlier, sometimes you can fall victim to a manipulative CUNT.  For example, just recently one of my men was trapped by a slut who gave him a handjob, excused herself to go to the washroom, then impregnated herself with his wad.  Because of these types of CUNTS, I am extra careful about making sure to conduct a complete psychological profile on a slut before I decide to add a side order of tzaziki to the souvlaki she’s marinating.  Since over 60% of females experience a severe psychological issue some time during their lives, you can never be too careful.

IMPORTANT WARNING:  Most men know that “brown baggers” (females with ugly faces but amazing bodies that you bang secretly but never take out in public) are awesome in bed.  However, if you are banging a “brown bagger”, no matter how convinced you are that she is safe, you should ALWAYS PULL OUT, because if by fluke you impregnate her, your friends would subsequently find out what you did, causing you major public humiliation.

Finally, since I have psychiatric background, I can easily tell if I am being lied to.  As for the average guy telling if a female is the type of psycho that would purposely get knocked up by lying about being on the pill or on safe menstrual days, that is a tough one.  Females are BORN PATHOLOGICAL LIARS.  Let me explain …

Most “seduction gurus” teach men that they must LIE overtly, greatly exaggerate, or omit vital information to the point where for all intents and purposes they are LYING.  However, if you are a REAL MAN you must NEVER LIE to seduce a female.  ALL females have an INNER SLUT and want to get fucked as badly as we do.  I am the most HONEST person you will ever meet, to the point where I offend a lot of people by being so straightforward.  I NEVER LIE to sluts and still get fucked lots.

LYING is the most immoral act one can commit. The psyche of a REAL MAN is NOT wired to LIE.  Notice how a female usually knows when you are LYING?  They claim it is “women’s intuition”.  Well guess what … THAT’S A BIG FUCKING LIE TOO!  They are NOT that intuitive or intelligent.  Instead, men are just really BAD LIARS.  Why? Once again, a REAL MAN is NOT wired to LIE like a female.  Instead, he commits crimes of passion, such as RAPE and MURDER.  However, RAPE and MURDER are NOT IMMORAL (except in cases such as first degree murder for financial gain, which is cold-blooded and involves dishonesty).  Nonetheless, these crimes of passion MUST REMAIN ILLEGAL to prevent society from breaking down.  On the other hand, LYING is a calculated, cold-blooded, sinister, shameful, cowardly act. It is HIGHLY IMMORAL.  Interestingly, there are many instances where a female KNOWS you are LYING, but like the song that goes “tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies”, she deludes herself into thinking you are being truthful.

Most females are able to skillfully commit such immoralities for two reasons.  Firstly, from a very young age they are brainwashed into thinking that “LITTLE WHITE LIES” are acceptable.  They LIE about how much they spent on a pretty thing.  They LIE about the number of guys they have fucked.  After a while, they get very good at LYING.  And don’t be fooled by religious chicks … they are by far the BIGGEST AND BEST LIARS out there because they must to lie to cover their moral indiscretions, in order to prevent community scorn or excommunication.  Furthermore, if you can LIE about a little thing, you can LIE about ANYTHING!

Secondly, recent studies have shown that dogs have evolved both a sympathy-evoking stare that pulls on humans’ heartstrings, and an ability to display their needs by repeatedly glancing between us and an object that represents their needs.  Similarly, females are hard-wired with a “LYING GENE”, bestowing upon them an innate ability to LIE with a straight or flirty face.  Since they are not as big and strong as us, this gene is a protective mechanism which evolved over hundreds of thousands of years to help them avoid being RAPED by unfit males.  In primitive times it may have involved fake sexy looks and grunts to buy the trust of an ugly caveman that had just kidnapped them, then bolting from his cave the moment his guard was down.  Nowadays, it involves things like keeping a totally straight face whilst giving out fake phone numbers or pretending to have a boyfriend.  It includes dressing like a slut but never intending to fuck anyone (cocktease); or giving men the false impression they will put out after an expensive dinner (“dinner whore” scoring food provisions to survive).  Furthermore, it is for this reason that there is no loyalty or cohesiveness amongst groups of females.  They know they are ALL LIARS and they do NOT trust one another.  On the other hand, men can have honest camaraderie and can build strong bonds of loyalty, even after a short acquaintance.

Most females have absolutely no scruples and deserve only the most basic respect, such as that which would be afforded to a dog.  It is beneath you as a REAL MAN to lower yourself to the level of a tri-orificed being by playing her despicable mind games.  You were born with a proud penis.  You are superior.  They are beneath you. NEVER FORGET THAT!  The reason why I prefer loving relationships with LESBIANS is because they think like men and RARELY LIE.  Also, there are many bisexual sluts out there that think like men and do not LIE.  If you do come across one, MARRY HER IMMEDIATELY!  Interestingly, I have observed that females who get along better with males than females, and prefer the company of men in friendships, tend to be as honest as men.  On the other hand, females that prowl around in groups, such as those that go “clubbing” together, are tantamount to a gypsy gang of skilled LIARS that cover up for one another with LIES and teach one another how to LIE to their respective boyfriends.

So for the above reasons, you can NEVER trust a female if she says it is OK to cum inside her.  Since you do not have my medical background, you have to use your intuition as to whether or not she is being truthful.  But as noted above, for the love of God please NEVER, NEVER, NEVER cum inside a “brown bagger”.