Why Valentine’s Day Is For Metrosexuals And How You Can Game It To Seduce Romantically Shell-Shocked Sluts

There is no ROMANTIC obligation incorporated into Western Society’s evolutionarily unnatural courtship protocols that is more prolific than the requirement to participate in a structured VALENTINE’S DAY ROMANCE.  And there is no phenomenon created by that obligation that is more pathetic than the spectacle of a queue of over-worked, under-paid, depressed-looking men with downcast eyes, lining up at a grocery store’s floral department between 5 and 6 PM every February the 14th, to purchased a dozen over-priced roses that have been so genetically over-engineered for their appearance that the ROMANTICALLY SWEET rosey scent has been all but bred out of them! 

This artificial 24 hour window of storybook-cheesy ROMANTIC opportunity sets expectations that are virtually impossible to fulfill, resulting in a set of circumstances which will most likely converge to create an EPIC ROMANTIC FAILURE.  Furthermore, the mainstream media and corporate interests, both of which are controlled by the NEW WORLD ORDER, have brainwashed these naïve men into thinking that an entire year of often neglectful, inconsiderate, or even boorish behaviour toward their wives or girlfriends, can be wiped away in one fell swoop by a single ROMANTIC VALENTINE’S DAY GESTURE (such as flowers, chocolates, lingerie, or a candlelit dinner). 

Most sluts of even borderline intelligence can see right through this CONTRIVED SENTIMENTAL DRIVEL.  It is all too little, too late.  Like the MYTHS of “Manmade Global Warming”, “Gun Control Saves Lives”, “Immunizations Are Safe”, & “World Over-Population Will Lead To Starvation”, the mainstream media and consumer society have sold our limp-dicked METROSEXUAL brothers one big pack of NEW WORLD ORDER LIES!

I consider myself one of the last TRUE ROMANTICS.  I write sensual love-drenched poetry for and speak erotic words to Colette on a daily basis.  I believe that the VALENTINE’S DAY ritual merely creates an excuse for men to be UNROMANTIC ASSHOLES 364 days a year, supposedly affording them the luxury of wiping the slate clean during a single day of ROMANTIC REPENTANCE.  Most men cannot be anything but UNROMANTIC because they have been chemically and psychologically CASTRATED by North American society, subsequently building up bitterness & resent toward tri-orificed beings, and losing that innate manly edge required for spinning ROMANTIC PROSE and lavishing one’s slut with SPONTANEOUS ROMANTIC GESTURES.

Therefore, these eunuchs have lost the natural instinct to patronize & look down upon sluts as inferior beings.  That instinct is what makes a man feel the obligation to “care for & protect” a slut after she has surrendered herself to him.  It is the same feeling that the guardian of a dog or of a person with Downs Syndrome experiences.  You want to pamper your dog with tasty treats and belly rubs every day.  You want to pamper Corky Thatcher with pudding or the occasional prostitute because he relies upon you for caring and protection.  These man-canine and man-retard/spaz relationships represent love in its purest form.

That innate drive to care for and protect one’s possession has been extinguished in the METROSEXUAL.  This phenomenon creates a serious problem because in order for a man to behave in a SPONTANEOUSLY ROMANTIC fashion rather than being forced into doing so as part of a societal obligation, he must feel that his slut is tantamount to higher echelon chattel and meant to be enjoyed as such … protected from theft or damage … worshipped like a fine automobile or a high-end stereo system.  Using the automotive analogy, VALENTINE’S DAY would be equivalent to WASH YOUR CAR DAY.  No real man needs to be reminded to clean his precious automotive chattel … so why does he need to be reminded to ROMANCE his slut?  It is because he has stopped viewing her as valuable chattel worthy of being cared for as such.

This ONCE A YEAR ROMANCE phenomenon is so widespread in Western Society that most sluts active in the “dating scene” have become bitter and jaded from the cumulative disillusionment created by year after year of ROMANTIC LETDOWNS.   The mainstream media hypes up the expectation that females will be swept off their collective feet on February the 14th, and when one is not, she falls into a deep fuckless funk, quickly followed by fanatical resentment toward anyone with a penis.  And after yet another year of resentment has built up in a slut’s heart, unless a man can pull off a ROMANTIC MIRACLE on February the 14th, she is going to end the evening with serious doubts about whether he is worthy of the gift of VALENTINE VULVA. 

And even if her VALENTINE’S DAY love interest is a BRAND NEW MAN starting the love affair off with a clean slate, she is still going to hold him accountable for every erotic misdeed perpetrated against her by every man she has ever dated.  Even worse, she will compare his VALENTINE’S DAY GESTURES to all those ever lavished upon her by every man from past years, with specific emphasis on the one greatest gesture of “love” she has ever received.  That epically disgusting gesture was likely bestowed upon her by a desperate man with deep pockets who wined, dined and gifted her into ecstasy, with the only stipulation being “the platonic pleasure of (her) company”.  In the same way that scab labour sabotages the bargaining ability of picketing strikers, this scab of a man crossed the picket line of love, and undermined your position at the sexual bargaining table.  Because of that conniving scumbag, if you cannot pull off what she perceives to be the PERFECT VALENTINE’S DAY for her, she is not going to want to see you again, let alone drain your pathologically swollen testicles on that fateful night.

Furthermore, most modern day men are incapable of delving out the sugary romance, due to decades of society promoting gradually more and more extreme METROSEXUAL dress & behaviour.  This gender-bending has turned the vast majority North American males into TIMID SHE-MEN.  Subsequently, sluts no longer possess a FEARFUL RESPECT for the immense potential POWER OF THE COCK!  They belligerently talk back to men, treat them with total disdain, disrespect them in public, and behave in an insubordinate manner; all without any fear of psychological or corporal reprisals!  

Interestingly, most desperately underfucked sluts that Colette & I encounter nowadays tell us that their #1 fantasy is to be RAPED!  Many of these sluts have admitted to us in confidence that they now resort to NASTY COCKTEASING in an attempt to get men’s attention and encourage men to aggressively pursue seduction.  In the most extreme of circumstances, they try to provoke a man’s “INNER RAPIST” in order to drive him into a rape frenzy.  However, METROSEXUALS either do not recognize these overt “COURTSHIP CUES” or sadly have lost all motivation to act upon them, primarily due to the effects of mass feminization.  Therefore, there is rarely any aggressive follow-through by the intended recipient of the “RAPE ME NOW” courtship cues. 

A METROSEXUAL GIRLIE-MAN would never dare even FANTASIZE about RAVAGING A COCKTEASING SLUT, let alone actually take the liberty of grabbing her succulent ass or sliding his hand down her ass crack and into her cunt juice-drenched asshole during a passionate kiss!  These “men” have so diluted the penile brand that horny sluts must now overcompensate for their lack of NATURAL DATE RAPE FEAR by escaping reality through the phenomenon of the VAMPIRE ROMANCE, which is quite common during the VALENTINE’S SEASON.  Over the last few years, practically every time you flick a remote or click a mouse, there is another cheesy VAMPIRE ROMANCE being marketed to “FORCED PENETRATION”-STARVED SLUTS. 

The fable of the COCKTEASING SLUT being bitten, sexually “overpowered”, then forcibly penetrated by a man accountable to nothing but daylight & a wooden stake, fulfills a primal psychological need that every NORMAL slut harbours deep within her psyche.  Every NORMAL slut hungers to be RAPED MERCILESSLY by a man that can never be held accountable or be brought to justice for perpetrating this arbitrary social crime. 

We men are hardwired by our innate biology to commit such CRIMES OF PASSION with extreme prejudice.  Interestingly, these VAMPIRE ROMANCES are far less popular in non-pussified nations, such as those in South America, because real-life “VAMPIRES” actually roam their streets.  These VAMPIRIC MACHO MEN may not sport fangs or cower from the sun, but they fearlessly & unapologetically grab the tits & asses of any half-decent looking sluts that dare to enter their field of view.  They will sexually ravage ANY slut who COCKTEASES them without having the honourable intent to follow through on her overt sexual inferences. 

Unfortunately, due to absurd FemiNazi-inspired North American laws which run contrary to our natural biological urges, this NORMAL male behaviour is now considered SEXUAL ASSAULT in most parts of the Western World  (Yes, I too find this fact ridiculous!)  Men in these feminized regions of the world must instead resort to VERBAL SEXUAL ASSAULT of sluts by making “cat call”-style references to body parts they want to grope … and even then, only when in the presence of other “cat-calling” men who provide them with a sense of TRIBAL IMMUNITY.  For example, in North America a man within a group of construction workers might scream out “Hey baby, nice tits!” to a female wearing a slutty top.  However, in South America, the same man, even if he were out alone, would just GRAB said set of tits, as is his natural biological right to do so, because the mere display of such delicious mammary fruit begs for them to be picked!

PLEASE NOTE:  I do NOT condone breaking any of these regressive criminal sex laws, no matter how absurd they may be!  Instead, the non-pussified amongst us must adapt to our rapidly cooling courtship climate by finding sleazy, ingenious methods with which to circumvent the spirit of such laws, in order to successfully hunt the tri-orificed herds roaming our frozen sexual wasteland.  There are sneaky ways in which to LEGALLY “THREATEN” TO RAPE North American sluts in order to sexually turn them on.  If you have taken ONE-ON-ONE COACHING with me, I have taught you how to use BORDERLINE CRIMINAL speech, mannerisms, stares, body language, and actions, to create an ILLUSION OF RAPE DANGER that any NORMAL slut will find so irresistible, she will look upon you as a real-life “DRACULA CASSANOVA” and give in to your sexual advances out of sheer EROTIC FANTASY FEAR!

Now that I have provided you with my keen insight into the psychosexual phenomena which surround the VALENTINE’S DAY courtship ritual, we will now discuss how to game the holiday in order to score a heart-shaped box full of beaver!  Bearing all of the above keen observations in mind and integrating them with epidemiological slut seduction data I have compiled over the last 15 years, I have found that tomorrow … THE DAY AFTER VALENTINE’S DAY … is by far the best single day out of each year to seduce sluts … provided you know where to find them and what seduction method to employ.  FORGET trying to pick up sluts ON VALENTINE’S DAY, in that their expectations are WAY TOO UNREALISTICALLY HIGH.  You are better off staying home and JERKING OFF on the 14th.  However, every year on February the 15th, Colette & I collect dozens of telephone numbers and we book our lovemaking schedule well into the spring. 

And luckily this year the 15th falls on a FRIDAY, so any slut that did not have her ROMANTIC expectations fulfilled on VALENTINE’S NIGHT will have the negative psychological effects greatly exacerbated by the impact of having an entire weekend to ruminate over her perceived psychological loss.  Furthermore, this rumination will be greatly magnified by the fact that these days fall right in the middle of high season for SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER!

On February the 15th, sluts with husbands, boyfriends, lovers, or dates that fell short of unrealistically high VALENTINE’S DAY expectations will be looking to upgrade their men.  Combined with the depressive effects of both SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER and ALCOHOL WITHDRAWAL, these ROMANTICALLY SHELL-SHOCKED SLUTS will be easy prey for any half-decent looking man with the right set of seduction tools and the audacity to boldly approach these LOVE ZOMBIES during their most highly impressionable and hypnotically suggestible time period.  Furthermore, this year our chronically underfucked slut will have the option of calling in “sick” Friday morning in order to get a head start on her weekend of moping.  That early check-in at Hotel Prozac gives her extra time to sulk and wander around in retail outlets, looking for a quick compensatory “pick me up” of materialism.  

A ROMANTIC PROPOSITION presented to her over that weekend will represent a “second chance” in her mind.  She will be well-aware that if she does not copulate with a worthy male, or worse yet, winds up acquiescing & spreading her legs for a genetically unworthy male out of sheer desperation, any ROMANTIC EMBERS burning in her heart will be all but extinguished by MONDAY.  She will acquiesce her right to privacy to any half-decent looking man with a reasonable-sounding ROMANTIC message that promises her spiritual uplifting.  

Often the most spiritually wounded of these ROMANTIC WALKING DEAD will mope around in a robotic state for weeks, exclaiming to their closest friends and co-workers that they have “given up on men”.  This state of misandry gives my dyke sisters an opportunity to fornicate with an ATTRACTIVE CONFUSED HETEROSEXUAL SLUT.  Conversely, a lipstick lesbian who is fed up with her “unromantic” dyke partner, will often come to the conclusion, whether true or not, that only a heterosexual man can provide her with the romance that she so desperately craves.  As such, be EXTRA AGGRESSIVE when approaching cute lesbians right after VALENTINE’S DAY, specifically any lesbian wandering aimlessly in retail stores, sporting downcast eyes and a slouched posture.  If you are not sure of what a “lipstick lesbian” looks like, just hit on any slut with an athletic build, loose clothing, cute boyish face, dishevelled hair, and comfortable looking shoes.  They also be sporting a backpack or leather pouch.

In regards to both heterosexual and homosexual females, this extended pathological rumination period makes them especially vulnerable to being systematically picked apart by what I sinisterly (yet lovingly) refer to as a “ROMANCE VULTURE”.  But in order to affect quick capture, this manly bird of prey must be trained to efficiently locate crowds in which a large number of ROMANCE VICTIMS are likely to be sequestered and wallowing in self-pity.  Once the ROMANCE VULTURE has encircled the pre-qualified crowd, his talons armed with the most powerful set of seduction tools known to mankind, he can easily identify his prey by the stench of her ROTTING DEAD HEART.  He can then dive in like a SLEAZY AVIAN ROMEO, sweeping the weakest slut within the crowd off her feet by employing saccharine words of ROMANCE, carrying her off to his love nest to be psychologically torn apart before she realizes what is happening to her. 

I have become so proficient at expediting this type of 3rd tier seduction that many a tasty meal being held in my arms has reached a sudden intellectual epiphany, exclaiming with rare clarity of thought whilst convulsing in ecstasy and being savagely cock-pounded by me, things like “Who are you?  I don’t know you!  Why did I agree to this?  Why aren’t you using a condom?  I must be crazy!” before falling back into an orgasmic stupor, resigned to the acceptance of her merciless multi-orifice demise.  It never ceases to amaze Colette just how many of these females accuse us of having “hypnotized” or “drugged” them in order to accomplish the seduction.  However, neither is required to bed a slut that is ready to be bedded!

In order to succeed in our quest for VALENTINE VULVA, we must first discuss WHERE to find sluts suffering from POST-VALENTINE’S DAY BLUES.  Also, these sluts must have just the right amount of ROMANCE DEFICIENCY and lack of sufficient cock to be vulnerable to our psychological attack.  Furthermore, the seduction venues in question must be filled with “romantic cues” upon which a sleazy Romeo can play in order to drive the stake of sexual enslavement through the heart of his prey.  Here is a brief list of just some of the best places in which to meet ROMANTICALLY SHELL-SHOCKED SLUTS on February the 15th (and the weekend thereafter), based on my vast experience …

  • DEPARTMENT STORE CANDY AISLES:  There is nothing more pathetic than a slut with a raped heart but unraped cunt, perusing the 1/2 price Valentine’s chocolates on the day after Valentine’s Day.  Your weakest prey are those sluts buying heart-shaped boxes.  Approach them with “Isn’t Valentine’s Day ridiculous.  It gives men an excuse to be unromantic assholes 364 days a year.  And even ON Valentine’s Day, most men couldn’t romance a woman even if their life depended on it!”  Initially most sluts will think that you are a MEDDLING FAGGOT looking for something to bitch about, so their guard will gradually drop.  Use gender-neutral phrases like “my last partner loved when I …” just to keep up the illusion.  By the time she realizes that you have your sights clearly set on ravaging her vagina, she will think that you are the most romantic, understanding man she has ever met!
  • FLORISTS:  Females who were cheated out of their mandatory bouquet of genetically modified Valentine’s roses will often buy their own flowers right after Valentine’s Day.  These sluts are accustomed to the annual ritual of the visiting the flower shop on February the 15th, buying a dozen roses at a drastically marked down price, bringing them home, picking out the right vase, etc.  OBSERVE THESE SLUTS CAREFULLY!  The more time she spends staring at one particular set of roses (rather than analyzing bunch after bunch for just the right arrangement), the more hypnotically suggestible she is.  Furthermore, a slut who just waltzes into the flower shop, grabs any old bouquet, and goes straight to the cashier, is just as non-selective about her lovers.  Pursue her above all others!  A great opening line is “These roses are all genetically modified to look good.  They’ve lost their natural scent.  Have you ever smelled a REAL rose?  The smell of my grandmother’s garden used to send tingles up my spine.”
  • LINGERIE SHOPS:  The dynamics of this venue are similar to that of the flower shop, but far more sexually charged.  The key to pulling off a seduction in this type of retail outlet is making sure that you do not appear creepily out of place.  In order to do so you must ensure that the target slut overhears you telling one of the sales girls something genuinely touching, such as “A lesbian co-worker of mine has decided to start dating men because her ex-girlfriend wasn’t very romantic.  She’s a sweet girl who’s really pretty and has a great body, but she doesn’t act very feminine.  I’m trying to teach her how to attract men.  Do you have some lingerie that’s pretty and feminine, but not too slutty.”  Trust me, any slut within earshot will be intrigued.  To make things interesting, approach a target slut with “Excuse me.  You’re around the same size and shape as my friend.  I love this outfit.  Which size would be yours.”  In about 40% of cases, the right phrases will lead the slut to model the outfit for you.  Finally, in order to avoid actually buying any crap in the store, end the visit by telling the salesgirl “What’s your name?  I’ll be back in a couple of days with my friend and we’ll ask for you.”
  • BOOKSTORES AND LIBRARIES:  First hang around the sections with the romance novels.  Approach sluts who spend an inordinate amount of time reading from individual books rather than quickly skimming through book after book.  Then go to sections for religion, self-help, relationships, etc. … anything involving self-improvement or spiritualism.  When a slut feels she is not loved, she goes straight for celibacy or spirituality.
  • MOVIE THEATRES:  If a theatre is showing a film with a romantic plot, case the lineup for any slut attending the movie ALONE.  Drag her out of the queue before she buys her ticket by offering her a REAL LIFE ROMANCE.
  • GROCERY STORES:  Friday from 6-8pm is primetime for single professional sluts ending their workaholic week.  If they had a family or a husband, they would already be home.  Furthermore, these late night grocery shoppers likely worked right through Valentine’s Day, but spent the Friday listening to the Valentine’s experiences of their co-workers and subordinates.  Approach any slut in business attire that is purchasing “groceries for one”.  She does not realize that she needs love, but when informed of such, will quickly submit to your advances.  Talk in very plain, professional, matter-of-fact language … like you are writing a corporate memo.  She is conditioned to take messages presented in that fashion very seriously, and will act upon them at once.  Also, because she is a professional with high vocational self-esteem, she will put low value on her birth hole, thereby rapidly and easily giving it up to you in exchange for some much needed male company.
  • HOMOSEXUAL AREAS:  Do not forget Roller Derby venues, which are filled with cute lesbians!  Approach disillusioned-looking lesbians with romantic phrases such as “Excuse me.  I’m intrigued by you.  I love the elegant way you move.  It’s very sexy.  Spend a romantic evening with me.”

Please also remember to hit on the STAFF working at each of the first three venues, in that they spent the previous couple of days witnessing what they perceived to be “considerate” metrosexual boyfriends and husbands buying useless garbage for their girlfriends and wives.  Many of these retail hotties will be full of resent and jealousy toward the recipients of these materialistic tokens of affection.  Thoughts of “I wish I had a  man like that” or “What’s she got that I haven’t got” or “I hope the bitch chokes on those chocolates” have been racing through their heads for days.  Also, most of them are NEVER APPROACHED at work in that most men nowadays are too frightened of being banned from stores and cafes that they frequent for “inappropriate behaviour”.  If you are not banned from at least one business a week due to hitting on employees, then you are not doing your job!

Now that we have located our prey, we must approach her in a manner that evokes concern for her plight yet simultaneously takes advantage of it.  I do not have time to delve into my seduction method in detail.  Briefly, what I have developed is a Rasputin MindRape technique which employs “MAGICAL ROMANTIC THOUGHT PROTOCOLS” that serve to portray you as both the slut’s saviour and a conduit to her sexual salvation and renewal.  In essence, you must become the stereotypical storybook or TV miniseries “lover”.  You must speak in metaphors, kiss her hand, refer to her METROSEXUAL date from the previous night as “that boorish man”, etc.  If you cannot afford to attend ONE-ON-ONE COACHING with me, just ghetto my method by watching old black and white ROMANTIC movies.  Mimic the body language and phrases of the ROMANTIC protagonist.  No matter how nauseated you feel as the words roll off your tongue, JUST DO IT!  Trust me, even if you nigger-rig my protocols, they will work on at least some of the sluts you encounter.

In summary, if you deploy my arsenal of psychological weapons in just the right fashion against just the right ROMANTICALLY SHELL-SHOCKED SLUT, by the time you are done with her, she will be convinced that the quickest medical cure for her catatonic psychosexual state is to be immunized with YOUR HOT BEEF INJECTION !!!

4 thoughts on “Why Valentine’s Day Is For Metrosexuals And How You Can Game It To Seduce Romantically Shell-Shocked Sluts

  1. My partner and I own a floral boutique. We’ve had a photograph of you and a description of your modus operandi posted behind the counter for several years so that staff are aware of what you look like and what you do. If we see you, your whore of a girlfriend, or any man who appears to be using your “seduction” shtick in our store harassing our customers, we will contact the police at once. I will also send a link to this blog post to the police so that they may warn other establishments of how you and your girlfriend criminally harass people. In closing, sexual assault is a very serious crime. The way in which you belittle the victims of sexual assault and excuse men for perpetrating the crime makes me ashamed to be a human being. It also makes me wonder why you have not yet been arrested.

    • He hasn’t been arrested because he hasn’t done anything illegal, you dumb fucking cunt. You’ll have to wait a couple of years for Parliament to get around to criminalizing “belittling victims of sexual assault,” whatever that means.

  2. I dare you to meet up with me for drink!

    to see your ‘Medical’ license~ oh riiiiight. loser.

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